This is a question that is frequently on my mind, but lately I've been pushing it to the back of my mind. I have no idea where my "career" is headed and that scares me. When can I decide? I sometimes feel like I'm not progressing very far at a time. This is supposed to be the "decade of decision" but I'm just unsure about everything. It seems like I've been a very decisive person when it comes to most things, but when I think of the general path I've set for my life, it is wishy washy. I keep looking ahead and knowing what I want for the most part, but not sure exactly how to get there. Why can't I just be confident in the future? I guess it doesn't work that way.
Although I can't make all the decisions I want to today, I do know a few things for sure. Here's a conveniently short list for you:
I have always wanted to be a mother. I don't know how many kids I want... but growing up with 4 in my family seemed to work well, so I think that seems like a good number. I have been babysitting since I was 10 or something, which I know isn't the same as parenting, but I like to be around kids. I don't think that I want to run a daycare or work at an elementary school or anything, but I know that I want to be a mother. There are some scary things about parenting to me though... I must say that newborn babies petrify me. They are so new and breakable and the thought of being in charge of a baby so young is scary to me, not to mention the whole "process of birth." that seems like a gross mess that's been sugar coated as a "miracle." Yikes! Not ready for that! One day though...
Told you the list was short. I'm sure that I will have a job of somekind, but even that could be changed under different circumstances. Yep, these are the onlyl constants.... well, beside death and taxes I guess. Ugh taxes.... one day I've got to learn how to do that..... Anyway!
Thanks for reading!